Ang “Huling Love Letter”

Posted in Bakla, Hinanakit ng Pusong Mamon on May 29, 2011 by Mr Alem Bong

Para sa taong I consider as my soulmate,

Nung dumating ka sa buhay ko, sinabi ko sa sarile kong mamahalin kita at hinding hindi kita sasaktan. You we’re my bestfriend, my love, my everything.

Until one day, dumating ka at sinabi sa akin.. “I’m afraid I cant stay with you any longer.” Pinilit kong wag kang paniwalaan nung una. But when I saw those tears fell down your cheeks, it spells out the truth about how you really feel inside.. You were deeply hurt, yes I know. I was hurt too. Hindi ka nga makatingin ng diretso sa mga mata ko nung sinabi mong.. “It’s too late.”

My life has changed at that very moment. Nakita ko nalang ang sarile kong luhaan, nakaluhod at nagtatanong.. “Bakit?”

I was down completely. But I had to be strong for you. At your worst I was there for you. Hanggang dumating ang araw para sabihin natin sa isat isa’y.. Paalam. Alam kong darating yun, hindi ko lang talaga matanggap. If only I knew that was the last time, I should have held you & never let you go.

Ang mga halik, ang mga bulong at mga yakap, yun na ang huli, I can feel your arms falling down slowly. Wala kana.. We always thought na ang pagmamahalan natin ay sapat na para tayo’y magtagal. It was a very sad ending.

Its God’s will. Alam kong masaya kana kung nasaan ka man ngayon. And me, here I am hurting.. Broken.. Those long years, its all gone. Paano ko makakalimutan yun? Paano akong magsisimulang muli?

I’m sorry if you see my life falling apart. I know I cant get you back and I wont be seeing you for the rest of my life.

This has been the longest days of my life. The most painful I ever had. The sadness of the night brings back the days we had. The time you let go of me & the moment I surrendered you. Even silence reminds me of all the sorrow, the pain & my hopelessness.

Hayaan mo lang ako. Unti unti, I can let you go at muli kong maibabalik ang dating ako. I will keep my promise. I will move on, pero mananatili kang parte ng buhay ko.

Pakinggan mo ako sa huling pagkakataon.. Sayo ko nakita ang halaga ng buhay ko. I have discovered a world thats beautiful, because of you.

My love, my misery. I’m letting go of you now. Its time to set my self free. Isa ito sa pinakamahirap kong gagawin.. Dahil mahal parin kita, at ang pagmamahal na ito.. Ito nalang ang meron ako.

Nagmamahal,
MisterAlembong

alitaptap, ewan ko

Posted in Bakla, Hinanakit ng Pusong Mamon on September 17, 2010 by Mr Alem Bong

Nakilala ko siya thru internet. Anonymous siya noon, picture lang nang katawan niya ang nakapost dun. Noong mga oras na yun, naghahanap lang ako ng makakasipin. Nag send ako ng message sa kanya, nagreply naman agad siya. Humingi ako ng picture ng mukha niya, nag send siya.. pero maliit masyado at malabo. Hiningi ko ang facebook account nya, binigay muna nya. Sumunod ay binigay ko ang number ko sa kanya, at ganun din naman ang ginawa niya.

Tinext ko siya. Hi. Hello. Kamusta. Tinatawag niya akong brod, teh, sis at kung ano anong pangalan na gusto nyang itawag sa akin. Simula ng araw na iyon, madalas na kaming magkatext at magkachat. Nagkikita, gumagala at nagkukwentuhan.

Hindi ko inaasahan yung damdamin ko sa kanya. Gusto ko na siya. Ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman ito. Sobrang tagal na. Ngayon ko lang ulit naalala na may puso pa pala akong tumitibok. Nakalimutan ko na yun eh., siya lang ang nakapagpaalala sa akin. kaya lang.. may problema, may partner na siya. Ouch! Sa puntong ito marahil, nais na ninyo akong batukan. Actually, ako din. Alam ko, wala namang magandang patutunguhan ang kung ano mang namamagitan sa amin. Kung meron nga ba?

Medyo ma-pride akong tao. Pero hindi ko alam kung anong uri ng hanging amihan na binuga nga mga Diyosa ang pumasok sa kukote ko. Masyado na siguro akong nahulog sa kanya. Nadale ako ng kamandag. Tuwing magkausap kami, lumulutang ako, nauuntog ako sa talampakan ni San Pedro. Masaya ako, kahit walang kwenta ang pinaguusapan namin. Napapangiti ako. Kinikilig ako.

Sa mga panahong iyon, siya lang ang tinitibok ng cellphone, isip at puso, at puson ko. Parang pinagsamasama na ang mga emosyon at damdamin. Nakalimutan kong tumingin sa ibaba kaya’t hindi ko namalayang pinasok ko na ang lugar na hindi ko teritoryo. Unti-unti kong naramdaman na isa akong tress passer.

Kahit wala sa lugar ay minahal ko ang taong yun dahil yun ang taong magpapasaya sa akin. Mali nga siguro sa paningin ng iba pero wala naman akong magagawa. Hindi din nila alam ang hirap na pinagdadaanan ng taong nanghihingi ng konting oras at pagmamahal sa taong mahal mo. Hindi ako nagdedemand sa kanya dahil natatakot akong marinig mula sa bibig nya “Bakla ka, ang kapal mo! Assuming ka! Nag expect ka pa!” Pootek!!! Tagos na tagos yun pagnagkataon. Hindi ako pwedeng mag demand sa oras at atensyon. At bakit? Wala akong karapatan. Hindi ako ang priority nya kundi iyong isa. Ang legal. Pero ayos lang. Mahal eh.

Masakit, alam kong may kahati ako sa atensyon nya. Hindi ko sya pwedeng angkinin dahil pag-aari na sya ng iba. Basta ang alam ko, masaya ko kahit sa konting panahon, atensyon at pagmamahal (kung may pagmamahal nga) na binibigay nya. Hindi ko naman intensyon, at talagang HINDI ko intensyon na manira ng relasyon. Kaso kahit ata anong gawin ko sa kanya at sa kanya pa din ako dinadala. Sya iyong kasama ko sa mga importanteng araw ng buhay ko, nakakausap ng mga walang kwentang bagay, nakakaasaran, dinamayan ako sa kalungkutan, pinapatawa ako pag hindi ko na kaya kahit ngumiti man lang.

Madami nga siguro lalaki dyan at hindi ko kailngan makihati sa pagmamahal ng iba. Pero sa tuwing tatangkain kong umalis, nahihirapan na naman akong panindigan ang desisyon kung tumigil na sa kahibangan ko. Siguro nga naging sabik lang ako sa totoong pagibig. Hindi ko alam. Mali pero masaya. Tama nga yung sabi nila, masarap ang bawal.

Kaya ngayon eto ko, nag aantay.. nagmamahal. Sapat na sa akin yun. Ang mahalin siya. Tanga na kung tanga. Wag niyo akong ismiran, dahil alam kong dumaan din kayo sa ganito. Nauna lang kayo.

Yun na~

“Even if the outcome turns out bad. Like the fireflies. You don’t realize you’re losing them already when you’re having fun all the while.”

paruparong hawak

Posted in Bakla, Hinanakit ng Pusong Mamon on September 8, 2010 by Mr Alem Bong

Isang linggo na nang makilala ko siya. Komplikado ang pinasok ko, pero okay lang. Naiintindihan ko ang mga sitwasyon…

Isang gabi.

Magkatabi kami. tinititigan nya lang ako, pero kita ko ang konting ngiti sa mga labi niya.

“Sorry ha.” sabi niya.

“Huh? Bakit?” sagot ko sa kanya.

“Di ko pa kasi maibigay sayo ang lahat, pero alam kong aantayin mo ako.” Lumapit siya sa akin.

Di agad ako nakasagot. Niyakap niya ako, naramdaman ko ang mabilis na tibok ng puso nya.

“Oo, aantayin kita.” sagot ko sa kanya.

“Matatagalan.” sabi niya sa akin.

“Handa ako gaano man katagal.” sagot ko sa kanya. Sa mga sandaling ito, hindi ko alam kung maiiyak ako or magiging masaya.

Isang masuyong halik sa may tenga ko ang ginawa nya at sabay bulong nyang..

“Mahal kita.”

(this was a long time ago… )

networking

Posted in Bakla, Bakla Media with tags , , on August 31, 2010 by Mr Alem Bong

May nagsend lang sa email ko nito, hindi man lang nilagay kung saan nanggaling. Tungkol ito sa mga gay networking sites. Pero sa sobrang “ka-astigan nito dude” i-she-share ko sa inyo. Kaya ito na.. Chorva!

WHAT SOME THINGS REALLY MEAN ON GAY NETWORKING SITES:

1. STRAIGHT ACTING = Alam na ng lahat na bading siya puwera siya! May goatee. Mahilig sa mga boys na pandak na mukhang callboy at gumagamit ng Aficionado perfume.

2. GYM BODY = Does nothing the whole day but cruise inside the gym and the showers. Longest relationship was with a dumbbell.

3. BUFFED = Steroid-induced pecs and abs. Knows all sources of good protein. Favorite word: “Dude!” (Pronounced as “Dod”)

4. NO EFFEMS = Thinks that having a relationship with someone effeminate makes him a lesbian.

5. SEVEN-INCH DICK = Asus. In reality, 5 inches lang naman talaga. In gay inches kasi, you always add two more inches to everything you measure.

6. YM ME = Jealous type. Ayaw ng competition sa chatroom.

7. I’M NOT EASY TO GET = Desperate but trying to sound choosy.

8. I’M HERE FOR SEX = I’m here for sex.

9. HANDSOME GUYS ONLY = “I am a shallow dork and I have a brain the size of a walnut. Did I mention even my dog hates me?”

10. JUST HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS = Did not make any friends in Friendster. Was kicked out of Dogster because they found out he does not have a dog.

11. GOOD IN BED = Needs a place to crash in but cant afford a pension house. The things he does for a good night’s sleep.

12. WHAT’S YOUR PASSWORD? = “I’m so horny I want to jerk off now.” Cant afford a paysite kaya kuntento na sa mga x-rated pics ng members.

13. TOP = Has had more girlfriends than boyfriends.

14. BOTTOM = Has very bad knee injury, hindi makaluhod para kumadyot.

15. I’M NICE = Dull, boring and has the personality of an ironing board.

16. I’M BAD = Just swallowed a dozen viagra pills. Has a tattoo, nipple ring and wears an ukay-ukay leather jacket during summer.

17. THIS GUY’S MAILBOX IS FULL = Hindi maka-check ng inbox kasi walang pambayad para sa internet café.

18. “WALA LANG” = Has a ten-word vocabulary which includes “cool”,“hi”,“wassup”, “he he”, “ha ha” and “tnx.” Longest word he can write is his name.

19. I AM ATTACHED = Cannot mention the word love. Has commitment problems.

20. I LOVE TO TRAVEL = Looking for a sponsor for next overseas trip. Always starts a sentence with “When I was in Europe…” Then you ask: “Saan sa Europe?” He says: “Ah… sa city mismo!” Wow. Europe City.

21. IF YOU’RE NOT CUTE, DONT EVEN BOTHER = Lonely and miserable. Nobody takes care of him when he gets sick. Has 500 “friends” in Friendster kasi approve lang nang approve kahit hindi nya kilala.

22. I AM SENSITIVE, LOVING, CARING AND HONEST = You are probably reading your mother’s G4M account.

23. I GIVE GOOD MASSAGE/EXTRA SERVICE = A masseur who got suspended where he worked because he wears too much foundation.

24. MY MOBILE NUMBER IS = Tawagan mo ako kasi wala akong load.

25. NO PIC, NO REPLY = Nabasa lang niya ito sa ibang profile kaya ginaya na rin niya. Ni hindi niya alam kung ano ang ibig sabihin ng PIC. Wanna bet?

26. DISCREET = Loves to hang-out in extremely dark places. Haven’t even seen any of the faces of all the men he’s had sex with. One of the few people who gets excited during blackouts.

27. HAIRY DADDY = Lots of chest hair pero for some strange reason – panot.

28. CURIOUS STRAIGHT MALE = Can’t decide if he’s top or bottom.

29. A BODY PIC WITH NO HEAD = Hipon. Or Wanted by the NBI. Or against sa religion niya ang maging member sa G4M. Or puwede ring tabingi lang siyang kumuha ng picture.

30. KINKY = May collection ng large Liwanag candles na pang-undas. May bote ng petroleum jelly sa ilalim ng kama. Go figure.

31. SWIMMER’S BOD = Used to be gym-bod. Nagkasakit kaya pumayat.

32. FLAWLESS COMPLEXION = Photoshop beauty. Blurred. Dodged. Liquified.

33. VIRGIN PA AKO = Chances are virgin pa nga ito. Who in his right mind would be proud to be still a virgin?

34. VIEW MY WEBCAM = Frustrated Pinoy Big Brother contestant.

35. DON’T TEXT, CALL ME = Sira ang LCD ng 3210 niya kaya hindi niya mababasa ang text niyo! Tawagan niyo na lang, please lang.

36. I’M A SEX MACHINE = Disease carrier. Ouch!

38. QUIET AND SOFT-SPOKEN = Probably dead.

39. MACHO = Sinusundan ang Masculados sa lahat ng mall tours nila. Uses WD-40 as lubricant.

40. BLANK PROFILE = Has no clue who he is, what he wants and where his life is going. Puwedeng isama sa cast ng LOST.

42. MESSAGE ME = What he really wanted to say in tagalog was: “Gusto kong magpamasahe sa iyo.” Baka typo error lang.

43. HOMEBODY = Unemployed guy. A bum. Free-loader. Professional home-partner contestant in Eat Bulaga, Wowowee and Game Ka Na Ba.

44. OUT-GOING PERSONALITY = He’s just saying this to bring attention to himself. Pero sa totoo lang siya pa rin si HOMEBODY, the unemployed guy.

45. I DONT LIKE CASUAL SEX = Only has sex when in formal wear, like when he is in a Barong Tagalog, for example.

46. LOOKING FOR A SOULMATE = A former member of Spirit Questors. Enjoys supernatural relationships. Cant handle the stress of the physical world.

47. I AM NOT HANDSOME = Take his word for it. He’s being honest for chrissakes!

48. I’M HANDSOME, INTELLIGENT, GORGEOUS = Perfect na sana tong taong ito — ugali na lang ang problema.

49. STUDENT = Has insatiable thirst for knowledge… and sex. But remember: pag may STUDENT, may TUITION FEE na kasunod.

50. I AM MESTIZO = Contact lenses from Tutuban, skin peeling by Maxipeel, hair color by Tsin Tsan Tsu and rhinoplasty from Ellen’s. Speaks a little chabakano.

51. SHY TYPE = No serious love since birth.

52. I’M SENSIBLE = Can carry a simple conversation for 2 minutes. Beyond that he simply moans.

53. I’M A MAN OF THE WORLD = He wants to make it clear to everyone that, YES, he is from this planet.

54. I’M A REAL PERSON = People have often mistaken him for an ornamental plant in the past.

55. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET = He has no plans of changing for the better. He is completely content with himself. Little motivation in life.

56. I’M NOT JUST INTERESTED IN SEX = Joined G4M as part of his research in molecular physics and Asian Religious Beliefs.

57. LOOKING FOR BADMINTON BUDDIES = In search for the perfect shuttle COCK. He wants to SCORE big. Naghahanap ng RACKET. And he really wants to SERVE.

58. BISEXUAL = A “top” with girls, a “bottom” with guys. And willing to pay for sex. Get it?

59. BOYTOY = It’s very clear that he wants everyone to know that he is young. And he has a toy. Now, Whether he is willing to share that toy is negotiable.

60. DOG-LOVER = A hot bitch who likes it dog-style. Loyal. Man’s best-friend. Pees everywhere. Doesn’t mind if you tie him up to a fence.

61. YOU THINK I’M HOT? = He’s not really sure if he IS hot. Needs a second opinion. And a third. The fourth will probably convince him… that he is NOT.

62. NATURE-LOVER = Very kind to nature… considering what nature has done to him.

63. MALIBOG AKO = Masturbates five times a day. Has 80GB of pornography in his PC. Has the complete collection of phone scandal videos. Watches National Geographic to see naked men hunting wild boar.

64. COWBOY = Has seen Brokeback Mountain too many times. He talks to his cigarette and says: “I wish I could quit you!”

65. I’M SIMPLE YET COMPLICATED = Uhm… this one really blows me. Probably manic depressive.

66. NO CROSS-DRESSERS = Doesn’t want to share his satin gowns.

67. DERETSO AKONG TAO = Has a very strong back. Drinks Anlene Gold regularly.

68. I DARE YOU TO SEE ME IN PERSON = Unfortunately, nobody dared.

69. COME AND GET ME = No one is sure if this is an invitation, a request or a cry for help.

70. TYPICAL GUY = He has two arms, two legs, a nose, a pair of eyes… uh, what else. Oh yes, a penis.

71. SELF-MADE MAN = He appeared into this world just by his sheer power of thought.

72. CANDY BOY = Wants to be licked allover. Comes in three flavors: BAGONG LIGO, PAWISAN and LUMUSOB SA BAHA.

73. I AM SENSITIVE = Can sense an earthquake even before it happens. He is now being studied by scientists to warn the human race of future tsunamis.

74. I HAVE A WONDERFUL MIND = His temporal lobe, anterior commissure and medulla will give you a hard-on. Oh, yes… he has a pornographic memory.

75. I AM THE LIFE OF THE PARTY = A Boyoyong party clown.

76. DECENT GUY = Wipes his feet before entering a massage parlor. Brushes his teeth after giving someone a blowjob. Says a little prayer before and after sex. Confesses regularly… on his knees.

77. OPEN-MINDED = His brain is everywhere except in his head. A perfect medium for séances.

78. COME OVER AND LET’S HAVE SEX = Thinks that Guys4Men is a delivery service.

79. HOPELESS ROMANTIC = Believes that love is eternal. Easily trusts everyone. Gullible. Sinampal na ng syota pero naniniwalang pinatay lang ang lamok lang sa pisngi niya. Thinks Erap is innocent.

80. I AM FUNNY = That fact that he has to say that he is funny is hilarious.

81. PURE TOP = Has a ten-picture exclusive contract with a porno film outfit which prevents him from being a bottom. Will only become a bottom when the ‘right’ project comes.

82. EXTREME TOP FOR EXTREME BOTTOMS ONLY = Will only have passionate sex with an Extreme Magic Sing microphone shoved up their asses.

83. TRIPPER = Has a marijuana plantation in his backyard. Uses tie-dyed shirts, showers twice a month and responds to “Tsong.” Does not a have a day job.

84. ASTIG 2 ASTIG LANG = A former seaman. Ideal places for sex: barracks, breakwater, inside a jail cell. Must have during sex: handcuffs, Purico cooking lard and a cd of Aegis get ready to rumble.

Now. Alam nyo na? HAHA! Yun na~

miss u

Posted in Bakla Media with tags , on August 23, 2010 by Mr Alem Bong

August nanaman. Isa lang ang ibig sabihin niya. Kabaklaan nanaman! Yeheey! Charot lang! Ibig sabihin lang niyan, Miss Universe nanaman!

Ang aking Top 15 para sa Miss Universe 2010 (in random order)

*drum roll please*

Jamaica
Jamaica

Colombia
Colombia

USA
USA

Trinidad & Tobago
Trinidad & Tobago

Spain
Spain

Puerto Rico
Puerto Rico

Peru
Peru

Mexico
Mexico

Malaysia
Malaysia

Ireland
Ireland

Guatemala
Guatemala

Greece
Greece

Egypt
Egypt

Dominican Republic
Dominican Republic

At siyempre, our very own..

Philippines

Philippines

Goodluck Venus Raj!

slambooking : kras kors

Posted in Bakla, Lakbay Bakla with tags , , on August 21, 2010 by Mr Alem Bong

Sinong kras mo?

Naalala ko, nung highschool pa ako. Mabentang mabenta yung tinatawag nating “slum book”. Kung saan lahat ng baho mo ay no choice mong mailalabas. Lahat ay tinatanong dito. Kasama na diyan kung ano ang tingin mo sa salitang Love. Wag ka, kasama pa diyan yung mga paboritong mong bagay tulad ng kulay, pagkain, music, tv show at sex. Ayy, ako lang ata ang may paborito ng sex. HAHA! Lokaloka, gender ang tinutukoy dyan. Mga tanong yan na akala mo naman eh maaring makapagpabago ng buhay ng sino mang makakabasa nito. Siyempre nung mga panahon na yun eh no idea ka sa mga ganyan, kaya ang nilalagay mo nalang eh M2M. Man to man, este Many To Mention.

Favorite ko dito yung describe yourself, yung tipong pakapalan ng mukha at pa-humble-lan ang labanan dito. Isa sa dalawa lang naman yan eh, makapal ang mukha na mag-susulat ng “cute, pogi, mabait,..at kung ano ano pa.” o “describe o judge me nalang..”

Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan i-judge tayo ng isang book, eh samantalang hindi naman tayo book. Sabi nga diba? Dont judge the book if your not a cover! HAHA! Magulo ba? Sensya na adek lang.

Pero… Pero…

Pero wala paring tatalo sa panalong tanong na…

Who is your crush?

Ewan ko ba. Bakit nung kabataan ko, o sige natin.. madaming interesado sa crush crush na yan kapag HS ka palang. Pero ngayon naman, parang utot nalang siya na lumilipas at mabaho. HAHA! Noon kasi, big deal yan, usapan sa buong campus kung sino ang crush ni ano at yung crush ni ano ay crush din yung crush ni ano.

Ako? Noong bata pa ako, which is the present date. HAHA! Madalas puro artista lang ang crush ko eh, siyempre deadmakells pa ako. Bellas ang kras ko noon, naalala ko gustong gusto kong nakikita si Camille Pratts. Pero ngayon nakakadire na siya. Peace tayo kababayan!

Siyempre nung nagdalaginding na ako, which is the present date. HAHA! Nagkaroon din ako ng crush na hombre. Kapitbahay namin ito eh, nakakalaro ko siya sa text sa kalsada nun eh. (Nabanggit na siya sa batang baklita sa kalye)

T-nry ko siyang hanapin sa Facebook. Kaya lang hindi ko talaga siya mahanap. Baka wala siyang hilig sa FB. Pag-gawa lang ata ng anak ang hilig niya, balita ko kasi 3 na ang anak niya. Sana malahian din nya ako. HAHA!

Tapos ngayon, madami pa akong naging crush. Yung mga kaibigan kong lalake naging crush ko din. Tulad ni ano at ni ano at ni ano… clue? Sige.. eto sila :

Si Boy..

#1 – Online Gamer. Weakness ko talaga ang badboy looking plus attitude ng nambubugbog. Pero ubod ng bait nitong lalakeng ito. Naging super close nga kami nito eh. Miss ko na nga siya ngayon eh.

#2 – Si Totoy Bibo. Super galing magsayaw. Nakaka-akit talaga sa akin ang lalakeng magaling magsayaw. Kahit hindi kami ganun na naging close nito, kras na kras ko parin siya. Nilibre ko pa nga siya dati ng 1hr na laro tsaka load eh. HAHA!

#3 – Ex-Nursing Student. Magaling din magsayaw. Member ng cheering squad ng school niya. Pero ngayon di ko na siya crush. Type ko nalang siyang tikman. HAHA! Alam naman niya yun. Pero deadma nalang. Alam din naman niyang hindi ko gagawin sa kanya yun eh.

#4 – Ang lalake sa tapat ng lugawan. Ultimate crush ko. Kahit naman hindi ko pa alam yung personality nya. Hindi ko pa nga siya nakakausap ever eh. Pero gusto ko siya. Gustong gusto. HAHA! Madami kasing nagsasabi na mabait talaga siya eh. Handa akong magsangla ng kaluluwa para sa kanya. HAHA!

Naging standards ko rin tong mga lalakeng ito! As in feel na feel ko dati na dapat ganyan or isa sa kanila ang dapat maging boylet or bf ko. Pero ganun pala ang standards noh? Standards lang sila. Wala na. Hanggang dun lang. Echos lang. Parang utot lang din, lumilipas at bumabaho. Hindi mo naman alam kasi kung kanino ka sunod na mahuhulog eh, malay mo sa mamang nasa kabilang kalye, sa crew ng tindahan ng inasal na manok, or sa bagong kapitbahay ninyo. Ang nakakatawa, dahil ang standards ay nasasantabi pag nahulog ka NA NAMAN!

Ngayon ang tanong..

Who is your crush?

Yun na~

coming out

Posted in Bakla on August 19, 2010 by Mr Alem Bong

Dahil iisang damdamin. Sasali din ako.

Alamin DITO.

Sali na mga ka-alembong!